Look, half a second Viper sock! Progress! So what's the malfunction? Well, let's take a closer look at the heel:
I'm doing SOMETHING wrong here, although I've made both heels match, so whatever I'm doing is right enough for this particular pair. See, you continue the swirled cables down the sides, but work ribbing and a central cable down the rest. The chart for the central cable is four rows long, with the cable on row 1. But you start the heel flap on row 4, and the pattern marks this as a right-side row, which makes row 1 a wrong side row, but you can't work the cable on a WS row! Huh?! So, I ended up just making stuff up and pretending that the chart was only intended for the right side, so doing RS (chart row 4), plain WS row, RS (chart row 1), WS, RS (chart row 2), etc. This means my central cable repeats every eight rows, which I'm pretty sure is wrong, from looking at other people's projects. I also had some RS/WS weirdness which resulted in the first heel-flap swirled cable crossing occurring a row too late. But, hey, I bet nobody would have noticed it if I hadn't written a big huge blog post about it.
Knitting content accomplished! Yay! Now it's time to make dinner - we're trying cornmeal-crusted tilapia with kale and rice. Yum!